Friendship is also a relationship, a partnership we don’t really consider as such until we do. Usually, we take our friends for granted, thinking that everyone is going to remain the same friend, an equal to you until they don’t. Nobody ever taught us that cutting friends out of your life can also hurt as much as the breakup with your love interest. It’s even more painful if you ask me.

This is a very hard topic to navigate because there is always one side of the story in all friendships. Maybe you feel like that friend who was always giving, exerting themselves, being there, being supportive, pouring the energy, good intentions, giving in material things too and the other side enjoys all of that, but things never really feel equal and I mean equal in energy. There is always a mean comment that slips, there is always something unsaid, something with mean energy and intention behind it. You feel it but you ignore it. You tell yourself that you are being paranoid and that not everyone is your enemy. But you know. You always knew, you just pretended that it isn’t there.

I wonder how long do we let people exploit our kindness, our good intentions, our energy, time, money? When do we stop being clowns just to be there for someone who doesn’t really appreciate it? I was always someone who hated fake friends and all those people you feel obligated to keep in your life. When in reality, I knew all along that these people don’t deserve my kindness. I’d rather have no friends at all, than have people in my life just because of history, blood or whatever feels like an obligation. I always wondered how do people on the receiving end feel. Do they just think it’s normal to receive that amount of attention and they don’t think twice about pouring into your cup energy wise?

Honestly, I don’t know about their end, but I feel depleted on this end. I drag meeting these people and after spending time with them I feel like a mop. All my energy is gone, and I come home entirely drained. I think that’s not normal. I believe that people who are good for us are also good to us and our energy. We feel recharged, we feel fresh and radiating. And who wants to have friends who drain them?

I think that when the time comes for some major changes, the Universe just starts stripping us off of everything we think has a meaning. Some people are part of our life for a certain cycle, not a life cycle. Some people are just an episode, a moment, some can follow us through every season and still their cycle ends at some point. It’s also very hard to be aware of this and to cut the energetical cord. Because it all starts there. And cutting the friendship cord is painful too. But staying is even more painful. And nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about how you feel physical pain in your chest after making a decision to cut some people out of your life, how difficult it is because all you can talk about are those people. It’s exactly like a breakup.

But it’s very important to keep closing the cycle even if it hurts and even if you feel like you can’t do it. Sometimes making a right decision can hurt and that’s okay. It’s time to let things unfold and just watch it all crumble.