I noticed that recently we are truly blurring the lines when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. We are even trying to fit our entire lives into a certain narrative that someone, somewhere made. This is nothing new and I already mentioned this before, but I keep recognizing the pattern in my own life and in what I do.

You know how we say how certain cards have been dealt to us and that is what we need to play. Then others say that we are the only ones responsible for our lives, and our choices make us take the action. I agree and disagree with both. Because life is not that simple. It’s not black and white, there are many, many, many colourful in-betweens. And trying to squeeze all of that into one narrative would be unfair.

When we move through life we are faced with many things; obstacles, open roads, closed doors, open windows, opportunities, blockages and what not. Are all of these solely a product of our choices? It can’t be. Sometimes circumstances are given to us, and we need to navigate them and how we exit them is based on our choices. Whether we repeat the cycle or we open the new door. Unfortunately, sometimes it happens that the loop is never ending and that some things need to be repeated in order to be mastered once and for all.

There are people who are given easier and more difficult circumstances. Some have it slightly easier than others, some have it a bit difficult and there are those who have to face the hardest of circumstances and many of us are very lucky that we don’t get to experience that. We often take our blessings for granted and we are unaware of how privileged we are, including me that writes this and actually has time to process things instead of fighting for my life somewhere.

What makes people sad and depressed, in worst case scenario frustrated and angry is the comparison. When we compare our life to someone else’s be it friends, family members or a colleague, we strip away our power, we steal a piece of our own life path in order to forcefully fit a story on our life path just because someone is doing it or because someone said so. For example, a friend of mine would like to get married and become a mother, the other one of my friends travels a lot, third one is a businessperson. And let’s say I start comparing myself to each and every one of them and I keep asking myself why I cannot have/do the same thing? I look for flaws in my own life; I nitpick it and ask questions like “Why I can’t have what they have?”.

Well, that’s because I don’t want any of the things my friends want. And both sides are equally genuine. My friends are not wrong for wanting what they want, and neither am I. We need to remember that when we came here, we came with unique sets of wishes, we came with certain rules for our innerl world, we came to make our own paths. So, comparing ourselves to others only robs us of our own potential. Just because everyone is doing something, doesn’t mean I have to. This is what we keep on forgetting. We can use our own heads; we don’t need to be influenced to do so.

Social media is the biggest culprit when it comes to comparison. Someone is showing us a very curated life, and we think our life is less than what we see on our phones. Which is absolutely wrong. Social media has been a great place to connect with others and share mutual interests, but now it turned into brainwashing machine where everyone wants to have the same lifestyle.

But, the beauty is in our own path. The beauty is in the small steps we take towards what we want. When we chose our path, we consciously make better choices, we dream our dreams. And I think it’s crucial to separate yourself from the narrative. Yes, your friends want to get married and have a family but that doesn’t mean you have to. Your friend may want a plastic surgery and that’s ok, you don’t have to go under a knife. The point is, find what it is that you want to do and follow your own path. Nothing else matters.