These days, I’m wondering how much of our own views and desires are actually our own. Have you ever wondered the same? What separates me from other people?

It can tell you a lot about yourself actually. As humans, we are very prone to peer pressure. Hence the failed marriages, bad choices, regrets etc. We are very influenced by people in our lives, by religion, by friends and their opinion and choices. For example, you have a certain group of young people in their twenties each and every one of them has their own path, but they spend time together and one by one they make different decisions, one gets married, one starts travelling the world, another one gets married and then the third, then the fourth finds a partner and yet you sit there single, not being able to travel much and you enter the spiral, you bite the bait.

Endless circles of comparison start, you start seeking what your friends have, you try forcing it. Your parents and immediate family start asking questions about your marriage, partner, choices. You don’t put boundaries, so you feel awful, but you keep giving them civil answers, overexplaining yourself. Then your friends get kids, they earn a lot, and you feel even more pressured. You are spiralling, forcing, seeking but do you stop and say “Uh, hey do I really want what is expected of me?”.

And that right there, is the most important moment of your entire life. Are you living your life or someone else’s version of life they imagined for you? It’s very important to distinguish that and put yourself in the centre. Not other people and what they expect. Just you, your true desires and goals. Not what your friends have, not their path, but yours. For example, everyone around me is rushing to buy a flat, everyone is talking about it, and I felt pressured to do the same. And then I sat down and said to myself “Ok, wait but do you truly want that?” The answer was “No”. No, because it’s not what I truly desire right now. Does it come from my desire to not settle somewhere where I don’t really belong, in a place where the values are completely distorted? Yes, could be the reason behind it, but at least I woke up from that sleep.

Untying ourselves from expectations, opinions and pressure others put on us is the most essential thing we can do for ourselves. What other people want me to do; doesn’t mean it aligns with what I want to do. I can’t stress this enough: Untie yourself from other people’s expectations.

It’s liberating, it feels like breathing the fresh mountain air. It feels like a day in the woods, by the lake with gentle breeze flowing around you. All of us have different core, different navigation system, but in order to be happy we must cut all the ties with the desires of others even if they align with ours.