People who know me, know how much I adore English classics. I have read Jane Austin in my formative years, hence all these opinions now. Can’t say that I’m unhappy with being opinionated. And I’m also getting my old voice back. Or opinion if you will.

I have been inspired by Thomas Hardy’s Tess of D’Urbervilles and her tragic story. I have several opinions on how it should be, who is the real villain and so, but I had to call out myself and de-centre myself from that story, because being a woman in that period meant something completely different. It meant that your worth is only valid if you are a married woman. Women were men’s property and women heavily relied on men to provide for them and make them safe and valued. It makes me very, very grateful that I live in this age and time, when men are being dethroned.

What truly inspired me was how Tess made certain choices. And it made me wonder, do we really navigate life based on our choices or some things are just meant to be? As much as her story saddens me, it also pisses me off, because I don’t blame only her for her poor choices, I also blame other people. And in my eyes, Alec was not the villain in the end. He was the only one who actually tried to protect her, even if we assume he had selfish intentions. At least he was there for her, and he supported her. Whereas her husband is the real villain, if you ask me. He chickened out as men usually do and he ran away, left her all alone in the cold, to struggle, knowing very well that she won’t seek help because she is too proud. It made me think, how much of control do we have in our own lives? And are we subconsciously making victims of ourselves? My mother often says how someone is the victim of their own life. I think that some people really do make victims out of themselves. They complain, they don’t work on themselves, they carry their suffering like a badge of honour and make their own wounds a highlight of their life, instead of transforming it into something greater. Life is not all flowers and trees, life is not a fairytale, it’s a great experience. And a lot of work.

I believe that the map to our own path lies in ourselves. When you really sit with yourself, without any distractions, you start to see the path clearly. Our past cannot define us, neither can our future. Our future resides in choices we make now, and our past is just a story of the choices we made in the past. Where we are going is much more important than where we are coming from. But we can’t even get excited over future until we work on our deepest parts.

As strange as life is, not everything is under our control, but those things that are, should be our only concern. I can’t influence greedy politicians and ask them to calm their tits, because nobody wants WW3, but I can influence how I chose to show up for myself first.

The stories we tell ourselves also play a major role in our mindset. How much we allow other people to influence us, also speaks volumes. I’m not saying that people don’t have good intentions (most don’t) but our immediate family members usually have the best intentions at heart. But this is where discernment plays the leading role. I heavily stand by my theory that humans are primarily intuitive, spiritual creatures and then flesh and blood. Because we really do feel everything before we rationalize it. That’s why it’s important to make our inner knowing stronger than our rational one.

Nothing is black and white; there are many different shades in-between. But the key is always, always in ourselves.