I’m thinking how people come and go from our life, some of them stay for a very long time and some are just there for a brief moment in time. I believe that friendships are the most important relationships out there. Of course, there is family, but right after family relations, there is friendship because some friends are closer to us than our own blood.

We might never understand why we stopped being friends with someone, but I like to observe a human life as a very long TV show, with many seasons. As the character progresses, the relationship they form also progress. Some stay behind; some go into the next season. I think all of us have people who are dear to us, but we are no longer close to. And sometimes it hurts that things changed and sometimes you just move on. That is how life works. But what about the people who stay but you feel that they are not an honest friend to you as you are to them? What if they try to maintain a friendship with you for some reason unknown to you? I am wondering does it mostly happen among female friendships?

For example, my friend complains to me about her marriage and motherhood and since I’m no expert in neither, nor do I plan to be, I try to listen and offer some kind of suggestion on the solution. And my friend never listens. And it makes me wonder am I making a mistake by offering a solution or should I just listen? I think it’s important to make a boundary here and ask: “Do you want me to listen, or do you want some advice? Do you only need to rant or you need help?”. Because I’m always 100% invested in my friendships. I always, always try to help as much as I can. Even when I can’t do much. So, continuously listening about the same damn thing, is a bit exhausting. As a friend, you offer a solution, and it’s never considered. Then all of that boils down to me wasting my energy on trying to help someone who does not want to be helped. Someone who only wants to complain and needs a listener. How else to define it?

Also, sometimes you have a falling out with someone, and a lot of things come up and although you leave it behind, it’s not completely gone. Sometimes their words would sting here and there, some actions or words misalign, sometimes all you need is a look in the eyes and you know that something is off. Is it jealousy, is it some kind of personal frustration projected onto others? I will never know. What is it in us that we don’t work on but project onto others? Am I circling back to my first post about comparison?

And I want to know if this is something common among female friendships. I never noticed it with male friends. They are always chill and will always tell you how it is. But female friends could smile and be lovely with you and just have this pure rage and hatred inside of them. And that’s why I think that female unity is difficult to reach. For whatever reason, women are envious of other women. Sometimes, if we lack something and someone has it, we immediately despise that person. Also, did you notice how some friends do not compliment you? I find that odd. I think it’s the easiest, free way of making someone feel nice. It costs nothing to tell your friend: ” You are so beautiful” or “You look great”. I do it as much as I can when I really mean it. I rarely receive a compliment from my so-called friends. And I know I’m pretty, bitch. This just confirms my aforementioned theory. Not that I need an approval, God forbid, I’m just wondering am I surrounded by the right people?